Where can I find help?

Where can I find help?

Here’s a link to a list of resources available during the COVID-19 period of isolation:

ALSO … we’ve introduced a new online weekly BPD support session until we’re able to once again deliver our in-person groups.  This will run on Wednesdays 7:00pm until 8:30pm.

  • To join the scheduled Zoom Meeting: connect at 7:00pm on Wednesday using one of these options:
    – from a browser on your computer or smart phone, enter (or copy and paste) the link:  https://us04web.zoom.us/j/252792981
    – from a cell phone or land-line, dial 778-907-2071 and enter the Meeting ID: 252 792 981
    You don’t have to have the ZOOM app installed.  The sessions will not be recorded.



Peer Support Groups (BPD Society of BC) – Drop-in format, no referral necessary, no cost:

      • Victoria: every Wednesday evening 7:00 –9:00 pm, 125 Skinner Street (between Craigflower and Tyee).  Enter the building from the back parking lot off Tyee.
      • Nanaimo1st and 3rd Tuesdays of every month, 7:00-9:00 pm, 3151 Barons Road.

Victoria Mental Health has a DBT program as part of Urgent Short-term Assessment and Treatment  (USTAT). Talk to your doctor about a referral.  Not all referrals are screened into the DBT Program.

Mental Health Recovery Partners (previously BC Schizophrenia Society) offers a confidential, one-to-one Peer Support mentoring program as well as “Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)”.  Call 250-384-4225 or check out mhrp.ca.

Citizens Counselling Centre offers individual, couples, and group counselling to adult residents of Greater Victoria. Fees are set on a sliding scale based on family income. Call 250-384-9934 or check out http://www.citizenscounselling.com

Dr. E. Pamela Hutchison BSc, ND is a private practice Naturopathic Doctor at Acacia Health with a special interest in natural treatments for mental and emotional health concerns, neurological disorders, neuro-behavioural disorders. Call 250-475-1522 or check out the website www.acaciahealth.ca


Peer Support Groups (BPD Society of BC) – Drop-in format, no referral necessary, no cost:

    • Vancouver:  Wednesdays 6:00-8:00 pm, 293 East 11th Avenue
    • New Westminster:  Tuesday evenings 7:00-9:00 pm, 1115 6th Avenue

Surrey Memorial Hospital:  DBT skills, no individual counseling.  Referrals are accepted for BPD clients after an intake is done by the local mental health center for residents under the Fraser Health Authority – Doctor, mental health worker or client can refer themselves for treatment. In Surrey the number for mental health central intake is 604-593-4900.

Vancouver General Hospital:  [updated information as of Oct. 3, 2018] For details on the DBT group therapy program at the Vancouver General Hospital, please check their website at http://www.vch.ca/dbt – we recommend you check their site early Friday mornings for their latest updates.  Below is their posted intake process:

“The DBT intake process has three steps:

  1. Register by telephone [note: the phone # is not posted while intake is closed]
    a.   The intake process for DBT groups requires you to call our office, on a specific day during a specific time range, and register for the DBT Intake.
    b.   Referrals will not be accepted if someone else calls in for you.
    c.    The specific details for the DBT intake process will be posted when we confirm the next intake date.
    d.    This information will be posted with a minimum of 2 week’s advance notice so that you will have time to make arrangements on the intake day.

  2. One hour phone screen
    a.   Your intake will include a one-hour phone screen with a clinician to assess eligibility. This screening will be offered within two business days of your initial call.
    b.   If you miss the phone call from a clinician for your screening, your referral will be closed and you will need to try calling the intake line again to register.

  3. One hour in-person appointment 
    a.   Following completion of phone screening, if you are eligible for the DBT group, you will be scheduled for a one-hour in-person appointment to make sure the group will meet your treatment needs.”

Burnaby Child and Youth Mental Health:  through Ministry Team Leader – Hugh Hetner.  Full DBT program including individual, multi-family groups, coaching for family and youth, ongoing psychiatry consults, dietician.  Youth do not have to have diagnosis of BPD.  Youth must live in Burnaby.  Intake – 604-660-9495

Royal Columbian Hospital (New West) – no DBT (CBT only)

Burnaby Hospital – no DBT (may in the future)

Peace Arch (White Rock) – no DBT

DBT Centre of Vancouver:  Offer a variety of fee-based services for adult and adolescent clients, their families, mental health providers, and the community.  Services are not covered by MSP, but part of their services may be covered by extended health. Clients are advised to check their insurance provider’s policy under “psychological services” to find out their yearly limit as well as to see if coverage includes any level of clinicians or only specific types of clinicians.  The Adult DBT Program is designed for clients ranging in age from 18 to 75 years and is provided in strict adherence with the DBT model developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan to provide all clients with the most effective treatment available for people struggling with difficulties dealing with and regulating emotions. This program involves:  Individual Therapy, Group Skills Training, and Telephone Consultation.  www.dbtvancouver.com

OTHER RESOURCES:  Vancouver Crisis Centre: 604-872-3311; Sunshine Coast/Sea-to-Sky Crisis Centre:  1-866-661-3311; Mental Health support line:  250-310-6789; Online chat service for adults:  www.crisiscentrechat.ca; 1-800-suicide can refer people to counseling (free or on a sliding scale)



  1. I am struggling with BPD and PTSD so hard right now. I feel very alone and I have thought suicide as an answer in the past, but right now I am considering it much more seriously. I have made a plan including the place, date and method. Having said that, there must be some tiny part of me that still holds out hope or I would not be writing this at all. I’m sinking fast. I have been hospitalized more than half a dozen times in the past year because of self-harm, drug overdose and suicidal thoughts and behaviour. I feel like I am wasting valuable resources that someone who is really very sick could be using when the ambulance comes and I’m taken to the hospital. I think “Why are you wasting your time on me? You cannot help me.” I think, there is no point in using up the resources on me that another person could use to get better when I know that I cannot get better. I turned 50 years old last week, and I realized that I have spent more than 80% of my time on earth in a living hell. Hurting myself and hurting my family and friends and being a burden to everyone. There is no special age that a person has to live to, and I think that I am ready for all this pain to be over even though people say “You’re so young!”

    • Hi Heather,

      I am so very sorry you are feeling this way. Please know that you are not alone and that recovery is possible from BPD. I know this because I have made a successful recovery – well now for almost five years. I know life seems like a living hell right now, but you must trust me that things can get better, especially if you have the right support and treatment. What is your support system – family, friends, mental health professional? If you live in Victoria, BC Canada, I hope you will come to one of our support groups.

      Take care,


      • hi heather im 51 and in crisis right now just like you. i dont have the guts to kill myself or know of a for sure way to do it-plus i have 2 grown children who need their mother. pls keep looking for help and remember that YOU deserve to be well and happy so dont think ur taking from others who u think need help. take special care, m

  2. Hi new here and was wondering if anyone knows of any support groups in Texas? Specifically in the Houston area? I have been seeing a therapist and been reading all sorts of articles to increase my knowledge of my disorder but it would help me tremendously to be a part of a support group.

  3. I had a very scary and life-altering experience. I am 24 years old. I as diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder two weeks ago by a Psychiatrist at USTAT (Urgent Short-Term Assessment Treatment). About a month ago (before my diagnosis), I couldn’t deal anymore. My mood swings, impulsive behaviours, high anxiety, anger, constant racing thoughts, toxic relationships, etc, were take control of my life. I overdosed on about 80 over-the-counter sleeping pills. When I woke up in the hospital over 24 hours later, I was hooked up to an IV and the Doctors had initially told me my liver had sustained too much damage and there was a very high chance that I would need a transplant. Since the waiting list for organ donors (especially liver donors) was so long, I could die waiting for one. I was lucky enough that, despite the damage I did to my liver, I walked out of the hospital one week later. Now that my liver is back to normal and I know what is wrong with me, I want to get the help. I have been taking 0.75 mg of Risperidone for about one week now, but haven’t been feeling any happier (I am sleeping better, but still get some racing thoughts, anxiety, depression, irritability). I see a counselor once a week, but feel like I want to learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder, and would like to meet with people who are also trying to overcome the mental illness. I went to a CBT class that focuses on getting rid of anxiety, but felt out of place (most people were in the group with anxiety problems due to stress at work, etc).

    Thank you,


    • I have lived in Burnaby/Vancouver my whole life, I’m 27 now. I’ve had problems since as far back as I remember, being suicidal at a child’s age, wanting to jump off the roof when my emotions got too high, my mom and dad separated when I was 4 since my father was having an affair. It was an ugly time. They hated each other more than they loved me and my brother. And I think that has really taken its toll on me. I almost feel like if I had been adopted out as a child I would have no BPD now because I would not have endured the years of being all alone for hours with my own thoughts, to this day actually I am still all alone with my thoughts and it drives me mad. My older brother used everyday to call me stupid! ugly and bully me physically but no one ever did anything about it ever and it progressively got worse especially when I stood up for myself. And my stepmom was fine until I got to 8 and then she didn’t like me having my own thoughts and she would cold shoulder me for months in the same house if I did something she didn’t like and not ever tell me what it was… She would not acknowledge my existence. At all. Which would crush my young spirit because she was my only friend at the time. And she would do this on and off for years. And she was my best friend and she did that to me. I felt like i just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide forever. So much else has happened after that. I would drink to get numb, once to the point where I drank too much and passed out on the street. So my parents were always trying to contain me. And I hated it because they didn’t give a shit about me just wanted control. I ran away so many times but no one ever did anything about it.

      And then I moved out when I was 15 with my current partner. He has been there with me since then but we are hanging on by a thread because we fight a lot of the time. I have been trying to get help for years, since I was 15. I’ve been told by a psychologist when I was 17 that it was just a “phase” and that really took the wind out of my sails because this was at the royal Columbian hospital in new Westminster and this was my diagnosis that was referred for. And before that I had a couple trials of medication through my family doctor. After that “diagnosis” I tried more meds and more psychologists and psychiatrists and counsellors but nothing ever helped. The meds made me so much worse. I just have felt like a job for everyone to do or a number I haven’t really felt like I’ve been treated like a person who is sensitive and has feelings I think because people think I look like a bitch. I’ve heard that from people already. I went and looked for help because I was having a rough time and the psychologist sent a ministry worker to my house, he didn’t listen to me saying I had a partner for like 8 years at that point, he thought I was a single mom with no support and I was suicidal. Which wasn’t true because I have a partner with me. So I get all that hassle and embarrassment for nothing because some doctor doesn’t listen well. So I really don’t want to go get help that way anymore, I feel the system lets people with BPD slip through cracks because there is no crisis emotional support line, I called the children’s help line as a kid and they told me my dad was right that I am probably a bad child.

      I would like more to be done for people with BPD because it can prevent so much suffering and preventable injuries and suicides. There have been so many times where I just wanted to end it but I still hang on for one more day and it has been worth it. There should be a number to call for people who know how to deal with people with BPD and know what to say to diffuse their strong emotions. When I am in a way the pain is unbearable I end up crying uncontrollably by myself in the bathroom. My mom and brother have now completely abandoned me which doesn’t help with my condition, I think what people need most is the support and I’m finding out more that sufferers of BPD don’t have good support at all.

      Wow thanks for letting me vent!

      – Heather

  4. […] I found this website today while on google… […]

    • hi rachael, i too have bpd and along with it anxiety. i too have tried cbt but didnt work for me mostly b/c i use to be a teacher and already know what i shoud be doing but just cant. after doing alot of research dbt i think will work much better b/c it deals with handling ur emotions
      hope this helps,mary

  5. Just joined. Does anyone know of any support groups for BPD on Vancouver Island?

  6. thank you, I have been looking for a support system of any kind for months now. My husband, of little over a year, has bpd. I am 53 and this past year has been the most difficult of my entire adult life. He refuses to believe he has this disorder. We are separating, because I just can’t do this any more. I want so much to help him, but I am so emotionally exhausted. I just finished reading, “Stop walking on egg shells… Helpful, but not enough if the person you love wont acknowledge they are sick.

  7. Hi Everyone,

    I’m glad to hear that there is awareness and people are getting together in regards to these sort of issues. Though I have not been in contact with them for a long time, I believe very strongly that I was once in a relationship with a man who had BPD. I honestly thought that they were trying to drive me crazy and didn’t have any empathy for me. I was exhausted and worn down to the point that I left.

    I feel like I should have left a lot sooner because of what effect this person’s behavior was having on me, but whenever I tried to tell them I didn’t want to continue in a relationship, they would begin to show suicidal behavior and act as though I was harming them. I can’t begin to say how this affected me but I began to not know how I felt because of the way this person was able to twist things around. I ended up staying in this relationship for longer than I should have because I was stuck on an emotional rollercoaster with them. The entire relationship became about them and their problems.

    I’m not trying to say that people with BPD are bad people, but I really suffered a great deal because of this person. I no longer wish to be in contact with them because they’re that destructive to me. I was unable to assert boundaries or demand to be treated with respect, no matter how much I tried to reason with them.

    Reading about BPD has helped me see things in a way that is more empathetic towards this person. I really feel like if I had told them I thought they had a mental illness, they would have said that it was I who had a mental illness, but based on what I have learned about BPD, it describes his behavior so clearly. He had a really strange way of turning things around on me and changing the facts. Some days I honestly felt like I needed to write things down just so he couldn’t change what had happened by saying things had come down in a different way. I know exactly what people mean when they say ‘walking on eggshells.’ My behavior changed so much to survive around this person. It was very unhealthy. I’m working through, after many years later, the bad feelings I’ve had towards this person after everything. I’ve had healthy happy relationships since, which has helped me greatly to get over what I went through. The hard part now has been having no one to talk to about what happened, this is the only time I have expressed this part of my life. I never felt able to talk to anyone when I was in the relationship, I felt too confused with everything going on to know how I felt, and how to tell someone what was experiencing. I just knew something was really wrong. And when it was over I didn’t ever want to talk about it because how could I possibly describe what I went through without sounding crazy myself!?

    I don’t wish to have contact with this person not because I don’t care, but because I simply cannot deal being around them. I always felt like they were trying to manipulate me, make me feel guilty, and control me. This behavior in him led me to behave irrationally in trying to stay sane! So even though I don’t wish to have them in my life anymore, I do still wish them the best and that they can have happy life. I know that many of their other relationships with family, friends and partners were destructive the way our relationship was. My question is, how do you find help for someone who will doubtfully except that they may have a personality disorder? This person normally would justify their behavior as perfectly rational, so I have doubts that they would be open considering the fact that they may have a mental illness. I just worry after seeing the destructive relationships they had with others and themselves, that they will continue to live their life hurting others and themselve blindly, and see the world as a place that is unkind and frightening, and always against them.

    I’m glad to see that there is support out there like this group for people like him, and the people that live alongside people with mental illness as well. Thanks to all of you for sticking together and being supportive community.

  8. Anyone know of any meetings in Campbell river?

  9. I am away at work right now. I find living on the road very easy for the most part. Life is simple. I do what I want when I want and as long as I show up to work everyday, I get paid and everyone is happy. I like to keep healthy. I eat well and work out most days, even play pick up hockey when I can. I would say I enjoy my job a lot. I feel a sense of fulfilment and respect from those I work with.
    I miss my wife and kids so much when I’m away however something really screwed up happens when I get the chance to go home.
    For the first few days, after I return home everything is great. then things start to go south. I find it impossible to keep up any sort of routine. I think exercise is imperative for my sanity. All of a sudden I get distracted and stop working out, My eating habits change and it starts to feel like my mind is leaving me. I start to get very short tempered, specifically with my wife and I know that my behavior is destructive.
    A couple months back she ( my wife) told me that she was having a very hard time with always having to ‘walk on egg shells’, I thought, Here we go again!!. I’d grown up with other family members and an ex-wife who always said ‘ we feel like we have to walk on egg shells around you’.
    There are differences hearing it from my wife this time. The two of us often have a conversation about being on the same team and that we agree that neither are in this for ourselves but to encourage each other. We are part of a team….
    The other thing is, even though I had felt that we were struggling a bit in our marriage, she had gone and sought out a professional and had been told that I suffer from BPD. Was it that obvious?????? Was this true? Man was I pissed!!!!

    My wife is an RN and I sometimes feel like I don’t believe her when it comes to medical stuff. I’m learning that my imagination is alive and well and when I hear something I am unsure about. Instead of investigating or TRUSTING. I throw it in the bull crap bin….

    I don’t have a problem hearing that there is something wrong with me from anyone who doesn’t love me cause I’ve felt it for years and after 6 years in recovery from drug and alcohol abuse, I think that I learned something.. I d like to thinks so anyways. Although I’ve started to realize that if the person is someone close to me, I use this to sabotage the relationship and try and run.
    ( the more I write here the more I realize how much turmoil I’ve been putting my family through). I get mad. Up until this point, I’ve thought that I was always good at being able to see my part in things. After things have calmed down I would agree and I think my wife would too. However in the middle of what ever path destructive path my mind decides to take, I don’t think I can see anything clearly at all. I think I make terrible choices and say terrible things.
    Two years ago I was diagnosed as bipolar /ADD. I was having weeks of high living high energy days with very little sleep required and then weeks down in the dumps. I was put on meds, started to see a psychologist. The meds didn’t agree with me and after about 3 months I ended up in emergency with a mind full of suicidal thoughts. It scared me as I’d never felt that way with that intensity before… My meds were changed at the discrepancy of my doctor. Things went well for a while and I got really sick of not being able to think clearly or be myself. It was like the way I was feeling on the meds was far worse that how I felt living having my ups and downs.. Even my wife agreed. It’s been over a year since I came off the meds and figuring out what my triggers are has been very beneficial. I have yet to have a manic episode and would like never to have to go back on anti-psychotics / uppers / downers ever again… I believe that if I can some how learn to step back and learn how to react, learn how to re interpret the things people say to me. Learn how to be consistent, have follow through and look at myself in the mirror and not wonder why I don’t look how I feel or wonder who the heck is staring back at me. Then life may get better……
    So now here I am, I am not so sure what to do. When I return home to Vic, I’m going to see a new doctor as my previous doctor was in Alberta, I believe that coming down to one of your support groups wouldn’t hurt at all.

    It is going to be five or six weeks until that can happen so I’m wondering if anyone can give me some advice, Something I can work on to start to gain consistency when I return home…..
    Thanks for giving me a place to express myself in a safe manor..

  10. Wow, I’m so hopeful now – I have just been discovering in the last few days that I have BPD and that there is something I can do about it!

    I am 50 years old, and for as long as I remember I’ve been this way, and finally something clicks. I always thought if I could just be nicer, be better, stop getting angry at people, try harder, not be so critical of my close people, etc, etc. And of course that only made my anger blowouts more devastating because I was trying so hard and was doing so well. It seems that about 6 or 8 times a year I have a big self-righteous anger blowout, which at the time I am absolutely sure is the right thing to do. I work up to them sometimes over weeks, they become elaborate and intense. Or sometimes it is just random and impulsive, directed at some innocent bank teller.
    And then there is the constant emptiness, neediness I feel. Like a dull ache (except when I’m overflowing with Joy or Anger). The constant need to call my 3 friends and talk to them and have them ‘babysit’ me. I joke about it with them, but it really is the truth. Nobody else knows how I really am because I hide it so well (maybe not?) and am constantly worried about people finding out how I really am. I may appear kind & nice to everyone out there (and I am genuinely kind too), but I know how mean I can sometimes be. I’m particularly hard on people who try to help me – it gets my pride all riled up and I feel slighted. I’ve always got some sort of justified reason. The list is long when you’ve been walking around undiagnosed, trying and failing to be a ‘good’ person. Keeping a secret and not knowing when I am going to slip up.
    And because I haven’t felt terribly suicidal (maybe 3 or 4 times in my life), my situation has not been acute. Wow, I am utterly grateful that this is something that it recognizable and treatable.

    Of course, recently I have just come off a really long emotional ‘bender’ that I had been building up to for the last 3 or 4 months – I let my justified anger fly and now my family relationships are just in tatters and shreds. This was a really heavy-duty one and I’m not sure if or how it is going to come back together. That’s what finally drove me to consider and investigate BPD. And then to find out that there are things I can do, that’s what blows my mind. I’ve suspected I have BPD for a while, but didn’t want to know or read about it because in the media I’ve heard that it is a really nasty thing that can’t be treated. It’s only because I feel so horrible that I started investigating this in the last couple of days. It’s like having my biggest fear confirmed and then on the very heels of that to have the solution handed to me!!! I am so grateful. Therapy in the past didn’t help because I was never really honest, and I was working on abuse issues, so that garnered me alot of support, but I rarely divulged the mean stuff I was doing and when it slipped out, somehow I’ve always managed to finesse my way out of it, or leave and make it their fault. But now I know I can go to a counsellor who works with the stuff in Linehan’s book, I can learn mindfulness to handle the temptation to jump on the anger train, I can learn skills to communicate better, especially communicating about unmet needs because I’m usually trying to look nice and undemanding.
    I’ll do it, I’ll do it! Uncle! I now have the choice of doing what has been described as really hard work, or staying the same and being miserable and making everyone close to me miserable. It is as clear to me as that: be absolutely, unrelentingly, dull-ache or load-roar miserable OR meditate, get a good BPD counsellor, learn the skills, learn to communicate, take responsibility, do the deal. I think I’m on the right track, I’ve just been learning in the last 48 hours, and I think there is hope for me to have an enjoyable, peaceful life. That is a heck of alot more than I ever thought was possible for me.
    Did I say I’m grateful?

    • Hi. I know you wrote a few years ago but I just wanted to thank you for being so honest. I hope you are doing well still. I’ve been in denial, am in my 50’s but believe I’ve been misdiagnosed with Bipolar all these years. Tons of meds that didn’t work except to make me a zombie. Now I know this is me. I’m going to my first Peer Support group next week. I’m scared to death but I can no longer live like this. I’m just surviving…barely. Unraveling is a better word. Grateful for free support. You told my story and I’m very thankful to know I’m not some crap piece of person who puts a smile on. I’ve got a mental disorder? Illness? ..and I need help. Bless you!

  11. HI I am looking for a support group/peer group for my 26 year old daughter who has BPD and Bipolar. Private groups are out of the our financial means and I have been searching the internet like crazy and coming up empty handed. Anyone have any suggestions?

    • Hi Tracey: we hear you about the cost for some private places! Could you let us know in what city/town you’re located so we can point you to some resources if we’re aware of them.


  12. Hi, I am a Mom of a very beautiful young woman who has been suffering with BPD for 7 years. We are currently in the hospital again for her 8th suicide attempt 😦

    Does anyone know of any support groups in Kelowna? Or of any treatment centres that are specific to working with people who suffer from BPD in North America?

    Thank you any and all help in advance, Connie

  13. Hi I am a 45 year old female who was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as well as major depression. I’ve been feeling what is my purpose lately and have been recommended to do some DBT therapy. Being honest I am alone in this process and diagnosis. I could really use some information direction of where I can seek affordable assistance.

    • Hi: DBT therapy is definitely the gold standard treatment for BPD. Unfortunately, getting access to it can be difficult. It would depend greatly on where you’re located. If you could let us know which town/city you live in? Thanks!

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